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I gave my voice away until there was nothing left.

Just like my hands…

Just like my eyes.

Just like this, like it didn’t really matter that much.

Like it was as easy as breathing

But

I keep forgetting to come back up for air and

I find myself sinking.

Like it doesn’t really matter.

As if blinking was going to save me from this.

This never-ending stroll down the road of no return.

I keep finding myself all alone

And bare

And the ghost of all the things I thought I had gotten over haunt me

Even when I’m awake

And I wake up to not being

Not feeling like I’m ever enough

Like I was never enough

Like it will never be enough to breathe me in…

So I keep morphing into these shapes and hopes and snakes

And I keep dragging my feet to the bottom of empty wells.

I am all out of responses, glitches and maybes that never seem to be the end of it.

And I am the end of the rainbow,

The beginning of the promised land

Eternal spring

I am all and nothing to those who don’t understand eternity.

Natalia M. Villarán-Quiñones